Life coach yourself to successArfaq Hussain
Carrying on from the previous article we’ll be ongoing with Life Coaching.
Unfortunately, many people don’t have the money to work with a life coach. Many people want to work with a personal trainer but, unable to afford one, they take matters into their own hands. And if it’s possible to move training out of the gym and under your own roof, does that mean it’s possible to bring another coaching in-house, so to speak, and go alone?
Many experts say yes. Self-coaching, by applying professional coaching techniques to your own goals and experiences, is not only viable but the ultimate goal that coaches help clients achieve. It takes discipline and dedication, but it can be done to live your ideal life.
When to Self-Coach – First things first: How do you know when it’s the right time to put on your coaching hat?
Common scenarios of the former include receiving a promotion, taking on a challenging new project or moving cross-country, whereas situations involving the latter include making a career change, losing weight, quitting smoking, etc. If you feel anxious, unsupported or depressed about a particular part of your life, these are signs that coaching could be needed.
Once you’ve established that you need to make changes in your life, the next step is identifying which areas to target: career, health, finances, etc.
I suggest looking at your thought patterns: anytime you find yourself thinking the same thought over and over—I wish I could (fill in the blank). I wish I could get more organized. I wish I could build a social life—if you don’t change things, you probably will not change the situation.
Identifying your strengths and weaknesses will give you an idea on a goal you can work on. This can be both personal and professional goals, whatever it may be, you will find yourself striving with the right mindset.
Even if you identify myriad areas needing improvement, I always caution that you should tackle them one at a time, working on each for three months to a year or until you’re satisfied.
Research supports goals that are short and to the point: a goal that is three to seven words is fantastic. If you can’t remember something, it doesn’t live in your world. It’s got to be embedded in your brain.
Its approach goals versus avoidance goals. You’re moving toward a positive instead of staying away from a negative. The way the brain works, we try to move toward something, and goals are about having more of something.
So if your goal is to be calmer, you’ll notice calm in your life. But if your goal is to be less stressed, you’ll notice stress, because that’s what your brain is focused on.
There’s also ‘the daily question process’. You start by creating a spreadsheet; in the first column, write 20 to 30 questions representing who you want to be and what you want to achieve.
The next seven columns in your spreadsheet are for days of the week. Fill out the same questionnaire daily—your answers must be yes, no or a number—and, by the end of the week, you will have a scorecard that will tell you how your behaviour lines up with your values. Over time, as you reach your goals, create new goals and new questions.
When self-coaching, a journal is also a great tool. Record your quality of life daily on a scale of zero to 10: Super-happy is 10, and miserable is zero. Write down a few things you did each day.
Be aware that just because you’re not working with a coach, you don’t have to go through self-coaching without any external support. When you state a goal to friends, family and colleagues, you’re more likely to stick to the goal because you don’t want to look bad. So, spread the word to your circles and lean on them when times get tough.
Here’s my list of 10 short-but-sweet affirmations to help encourage you through the sometimes-daunting transformational process that accompanies any type of coaching.
- There is more than enough wealth, love, and happiness to go around.
- I am succeeding because of my choices, not blind luck.
- If something goes wrong, I’ll figure out how to make it right.
- I created this situation once, and I can create it again—and again, and again…
- If I lost everything, lots of people would be willing to help me.
- I can deal with my life at this moment—and that’s all I’ll ever have to do.
- Nothing can take my destiny away from me.
- There’s much, much more good stuff where this came from.
- I will always have plenty.
- I have free access to infinite richness.
Self-coaching isn’t easy, and it’s crucial to acknowledge that from the beginning. Such understanding will help when you hit obstacles along the way—because setbacks are inevitable, and even the most successful people in the world fail.
If you constantly hit hurdles, closely examine your environment. What factors at home, in your career or in your social circle could be working against you? Everyone reaches a point in coaching where he or she fails.
When this happens, ask yourself: Is this the thing I really wanted? What have I learned from my failure? Do I want to go again? If it’s the real thing, you will want to go again, and you will persist, and you will fail, and you will fail, and you will succeed. That’s how every success ever achieved always happens.